Sunsets Into Sunrises
Bishop Martin - The Progress of a Soul in the Beyond
- Chapter 14 -
BISHOP MARTIN'S SINCERE REPENTANCE AND HIS WILLINGNESS TO BETTER HIMSELF.
1
(Bishop Martin): "Oh, my rescuer whom I owe so much gratitude, all I can say is, Mea culpa, mea quam maxima culpa! (my guilt, my greatest possible guilt.) It is all absolutely true, but what could I now do about it?
2
I now feel the deepest contrition about all I did, but it can never be undone, and thus my guilt and sin remain as the seed and root of death. How could I in my sin find mercy with the Lord?
3
I realize that I am ripe for hell, and there is nothing I can do about it, except that, perhaps, the Lord would grant me another life on earth where I could make up for my wrongdoings as much as possible. Or, since I am so terribly afraid of hell, maybe the Lord could place me as the very least being in some corner for all eternity where, as a farmer, I could make a meager living with my own two hands. I would not expect to attain to any higher degree of beatitude, being aware that I am much too unworthy for even the lowest sphere of heaven.
4
This is how I feel about it. In the world it might be rather hopeless as the general trend is evil all through, making it almost impossible to be good, as you have to battle against the current like a swimmer.
5
The governments just please themselves, and religion is used merely as an opiate for the common people, in order to make them more easily manageable. Even if the Pope himself endeavored to give religion a purely spiritual meaning, his declared infallibility would be attacked from all sides. This only shows how difficult it is, particularly for a bishop, to keep on the true path of the Word of God, as he is spied upon by a legion of secret observers.
6
Although you still retain your free will, action is made difficult, often even impossible.
7
It might seem good and beneficial for these times to become a martyr for the Word of God. However, what could it help? If you only criticize the misuse of religion, you would be put away somewhere and ordered to hold your tongue, or you might even be done away with secretly.
8
Therefore, what use could it be to swim against the current, reveal the truth, and sacrifice yourself for poor, blind mankind?
9
Knowing this from experience, it is only understandable if you say to yourself: Mundus vult decipi - ergo decipiatur! (The world wants to be deceived, so let it be deceived!).
10
I am convinced that the Lord endeavors to save every human being; but if man does prefer hell to heaven, even He, the Almighty, cannot prevent him from going down into the bottomless pit.
11
I have no intention of minimizing my guilt, but I just want to point out that in the world you are rather a compulsory than a voluntary sinner, which is surely taken into consideration by the Lord.
12
Not that I mean He should consider my guilt less serious, but the fact that the world is what it is, and that you cannot help it even if you would like to and, therefore, eventually cease trying, should carry some weight?
13
My dearest rescuer, do not be cross with me for what I have said, as this is the way I have seen things until now. Judging from your words, you are full of divine wisdom and will be able to tell me what I should do to, at least, save myself from hell.
14
I assure you that, as demanded by you, I forgive my former guide with all my heart! For I was only annoyed with him because I couldn't understand what he actually planned to do with me. If he came along now, I would, for your sake, embrace him like a son would embrace his long-lost father."