THE GREAT GOSPEL OF JOHN
VOLUME 5
Jesus' Precepts and Deeds through His Three Years of Teaching
Jesus in the region of Caesarea Philippi. (cont.) Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 16
- Chapter 125 -
The need for introspection.
1
(The Lord) "So then do act accordingly; make every effort and check everything to see whether you have forgotten something, so that in the end you will not have to say: Look here, I have now done everything for a full ten or twenty years that the new teaching directed me to do, yet I am still in the same spot and feel within me no special enlightenment or a so-called eternal life! What is still lacking?
2
That is why I tell you: Check very carefully to see whether some strong thoughts of worldly advantage have not assailed your heart, whether temporal arrogance, a certain too extreme thriftiness "a younger sister of avarice "ambition, sense of judgment, bossiness, salaciousness and the like have not captured your heart and thereby also your soul! As long as that is the case for one or another, he will not attain to the promise, that is, to its complete fulfillment for him.
3
Look at the cider and the pure wine in a keg or a skin, full of spirit. As long as the cider contains coarse and foreign particles, it will ferment and not achieve any purity; but as soon as these are eliminated, it becomes more and more quiet in the keg and the cider clears and becomes pure wine, full of spirit.
4
Many a person is not far from attaining to the Kingdom of God within his soul, yet if he does not examine himself to see whether something material still clings to his soul, he will not succeed. On closer self-searching he may find that he is still very touchy and easily hurt by some trifle.
5
Someone says: 'Well, is a man not meant to have a sense of honor at all?' Oh yes, say I, man can indeed have a sense of honor, but it must be of the noblest kind. If a man who is still weak in his spirit offends you, do not be angry but go and tell him: 'Friend, there is nothing with which you can offend me, for I love you and all people. I bless those who curse me, and to those who do evil to me I do good to the best of my ability. But it is not decent for one man to offend another; therefore, leave that be in future for the sake of your own salvation. With your increasing tendency to offend, you could one day run into one who would really take offence and cause you great trouble; for that you would then only have to blame yourself.'
6
If you speak thus with someone who has offended you, without the least grudge in your hearts, you have then completely justified the noble and divine sense of honor in your heart. But if you do not notice even a tiny type of small grudge in yourself and are bitter and unfriendly to people, that is another consequence of a small arrogance hidden in your soul, which alone is sufficient enough to prevent the union of your souls with My spirit of light in you.
7
Or one and the same poor man demands from you several times some considerable alms. You have it indeed, and could give the poor man a thousand times over what you have already given him; but his particular brazenness embitters you and you show him the door and tell him not to accost you so often expecting alms whenever he asks for it
8
Well, look, that is indeed a very reasonable speech for a man of the world, and such a small reprimand does the beggar some good; but he who meets the poor in this way is nowhere near mature enough to enter My kingdom, where I allow My sun to rise and set every day on good and evil people and for the good of all creatures.
9
The same beam that illuminates the golden palace of the kings and purifies, matures and greatly sweetens the noblest of all juices in the vine, also shines on puddles and cloacae and is not annoyed by the croaking of frogs and the chirping of the grasshoppers. Such restraint reveals some stinginess. Such stinginess and great restraint are not far removed from avarice and cloud the living cider of the soul. As long as this continues to happen, the soul is not turned into a pure wine of life, full of spirit.
10
But he who has the means and enjoys giving, not reproaching the poor because he has several times given him a small handout, is in this respect well able to enter My Kingdom, provided he is not aware of some other minor fault within his soul.
11
Therefore, I tell you: Do always examine yourselves carefully in everything and advance to that level of life on which you will clearly and actively become aware that you are rid of all worldly dross."