The Childhood of Jesus
The Gospel of James
Biographical Gospel of the Lord
- Chapter 188 -
A Test Of Love For Cyrenius
WHILE CYRENIUS was looking at his earth-globe again with great attentiveness, the little Child wanted to be put down so He might frisk back and forth a bit on the hill.
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At this Cyrenius set Him on the ground ever so gently and avowed,
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'O my life, my salvation, my all! Only from my hands do I free you bodily -
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but never, never from my heart: for there you dwell from now on quite alone - yes, You all alone are my love!
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Truly, as long as I have only You, my Savior, then the whole world with all its treasures means less than nothing to me!'
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Here the little Child turned to Cyrenius again and said,
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'I will just have to remain with you after all - although I really would like to frisk around a bit - because you love Me so much!
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If you had constantly gazed at your little earth, see I would have become a bit bored with you:
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but since you have directed your heart as well as your whole attention to Me again, I just have to remain with you and cannot separate Myself from you!
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Now listen, My dear Cyrenius, just what will your wife say to that, since she has surely heard that you love only Me and no one else?'
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And Cyrenius asserted, 'Lord, if I just have You, what do I care about my wife and the whole world? See, all that I am ready to trade off for a mite!
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O my Jesus, what can possibly give greater happiness than to love You above all things and to be loved in return by You?
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Therefore I would rather despise Tullia like a horde of locusts than to depart from my love to You by only a hair's breadth!'
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The little Child now asked, 'Cyrenius, if I tested you a bit in that matter, do you really think that you would remain constant?'
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And Cyrenius declared, 'The way I now feel, You could turn the whole world to dust beneath my feet and take Tullia from me a thousand times, if it were possible, and I still would remain constant in my love toward You!'
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Hereupon Tullia, as if smitten by a stroke, suddenly sank to the ground and was dead.
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This was a great shock to the whole company, and fresh lemon juice and water were quickly brought to revive her;
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but all effort was vain - for Tullia was stone dead.
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And when Cyrenius saw that Tullia was really dead, he covered up his face and was very sad.
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Thereat the little Child asked the sorrowing Cyrenius, 'Cyrenius what am I to make of you now? See, the earth is still whole, and your wife is far from being killed a thousand times as you requested - and you sorrow as if you had lost everything in the world!
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Do you not still have Me just as before when I meant everything to you? How then can you be so very sad?'
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Hereupon Cyrenius sighed deeply and said very plaintively, 'O Lord, I just did not know how dear Tullia was to me as long as I had her - and only her loss showed me her worth!
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Therefore I am sad and will indeed sorrow for her, who was such a noble and faithful helpmate to me, for the rest of my life!'
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At this the little Child also sighed deeply and said, 'Oh you changeable children of men, how little constancy dwells in your hearts!
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If men are already like this in My presence, what will they be like when I am not among them any more?
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Cyrenius, what was I to you a few minutes ago, and what am I to you now?
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You cover your face before Me as before the world, and your heart is so filled with sorrow that you can hardly hear My voice.
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'Now I tell you: Truly, like that you are far from being worthy of me!
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For whoever still loves his wife more than Me, he is not worthy of Me, since I am after all more than woman, created by My power!
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I say to you: Take better counsel with yourself in the future, or you will never see My face in this world!'
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Thereupon the little Child went over to Joseph and told him, 'Joseph, have the deceased one brought into the little side room and have her lain on a bier.'
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Here Joseph inquired, 'My little Son, will she never come back to life?'
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And the little Child said, 'Do not ask Me about that - for My time is still a long way off, but do instead as I told you!
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See, the woman was jealous of Me when Cyrenius confessed his love to Me - it was this jealousy and this love-envy which killed her so quickly. So do not ask Me further and have her brought into the little side room and lain on a bier, for she is really dead!'
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At this Joseph promptly had the corpse brought into the house and lain on a bier set up in a small side room.
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All now went over to Cyrenius and comforted him at this sudden loss of his wife.
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But Cyrenius soon uncovered his face, straightened up like a real hero and said,
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'Oh dear friends, do not comfort me in vain - for I have already found my consolation in my own heart
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and you could not possibly give me a better one!
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See, the Lord gave me this noble wife in a truly wonderful way, and now He has taken her from me again - for He alone is truly the Lord of all life!
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Let everything therefore be offered up to Him and His holy name be praised and honored for it always.
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'It is indeed a hard blow to my weak human heart - but now I also perceive it to be all the more enlivening for my spirit!
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For by means of this the Lord has freed me and I am not unencumbered by any earthly bonds and belong to Him alone, and He alone is now the holy dweller in my heart! So do not comfort me - for He alone is my consolation forever.'
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And the little Child went to Cyrenius and said to him, 'Amen! So be it forever!
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Like a breath these years on earth in which we will still work here will pass away - and then you will be where I shall be forever among those who will love Me like you do. So be it forever, and ever, and ever!'