The Great Gospel of John
Volume 6
Jesus' Precepts and Deeds through His Three Years of Teaching
At the Sea of Galilee (John 6)
- Chapter 145 -
The reproaches and doubts of the disciples.
However I and the disciples stayed for the whole day in the house of Matthias and I told him many things what I have experienced on My travels during the past few weeks, which interested the innkeeper a great deal. The disciples, however, went to the outside - accept for John and Matthew who ordered their recordings until evening to improve on the coherence. Also the twenty Jew-Greeks went on their own to the outside and enjoyed the view of the quite lively and moving sea.
2
Only late in the evening the disciples returned to the house when the evening meal was already prepared for some time. We consumed the evening meal in all quietness and afterwards went to rest. We still stayed there for another few days and kept us busy with all kinds of good and useful things.
3
The captain came everyday to Me and I healed several sick named by him just through My word. About this several of My older disciples were annoyed, because I did it Myself and did not instructed them to do it in My name, what according to their opinion would have a greater testimony, instead of Me performing all the signs, what might be a testimony for Myself as being regarded as a divine Master, but would not be a good testimony for My disciples because the people are saying: 'Now they are travelling for so long already with Him but have not learned a lot since they are not able to do anything!'
4
Said I to them: "My friends and brothers! The time will also come for you to perform signs in My name; but it has not yet come. To the most of you I have given the same power to heal the sick of any kind, and you also have cured them and the same power is still in your possession accept for one who let him getting paid for it. However, if you are with Me, it is not necessary that you perform miracles in My presence; wherever it is necessary, I will allow you to perform very special signs. What do you want more?! I have not yet ascended from where I have come, to My God and your God and have not yet poured out the holy spirit of God over you, who will guide you in all truth and wisdom. Therefore be patient up to then, - afterwards you will also do what I do! - Are you satisfied with that?"
5
Says Thomas now: "Lord, with that we are quite content; however there is one thing we still don't understand about You! See, at the heathens You nearly exceeded Yourself with performing signs! The heathen temple and idols You destroyed in a moment and the most stubborn priests submitted to you like lambs; why don't You do the same in Judea? The clerics would long ago have become Your disciples if You had breathed away the temple with the same ease as You have breathed away the heathen's idols at the Euphrates! Do the same in Judea and Your teaching is safe!"
6
Said I: "You speak what you understand, and I speak what I know from the Father and what I also understand quite well! You do not know the reason why this and that has to take place, to achieve this and that purpose with certainty; but I know it just too clearly and precisely why this and that has take place, to achieve this and that purpose with certainty. Therefor it is really not nice of you, that you want to prescribe to Me what I should do! At various opportunities I already have explained to you, why I am doing this and that and why the relation of man to God is currently standing on such evil and dark ground, and why it even has to happen that this My body will be killed in Jerusalem.
7
But you remember nothing and also never think about it deeper, so that My word never can take root properly in you; and see, for this reason your faith in Me is by a far cry not alive yet, and therefore you are not suited and able to perform signs from which the people can recognise that you are truly My disciples! - Why do you remember only so little and think about it so little?"
8
Says again Thomas: "Lord, strengthen our memory and we surly will remember everything and also think about it what we hear out of Your mouth!"
9
Thereupon I said: "I have done this anyway as far it was possible; further, as your nature can stand it, it can't be done. However, when the spirit will come over you, he will guide you in all wisdom and henceforth you will not need your physical memory anymore. But for the development of the soul man also has received a physical memory, which together with a firm will is strong enough to memorize a countless number of words, truths and deeds; only when a person skims indifferently over all kinds of things and incidents, they also will not stick to the brain, and the reason for it I have shown to you quite clearly in Caesarea Philippi. Think about it and you will find it!"
10
Upon these My words the disciples said nothing anymore and I then spoke to the captain, who was always present in these days, putting into perspective for him some of the circumstances in the world of that time.
11
The disciples conversed among each other in their own way and made all kinds of mutual considerations. Some stated that God in His power was also limited, because in everything what He does, He is bound by certain conditions regarding time as well as the constitution of things, without it He would not be able to effectuate some of the things. Others said that such God does not do it for Himself, but for the sake of the creatures, to give them the necessary consistency by which they can become firm and stable for eternity. In addition it must cause Him a certain bliss if He sees His works growing ripe in time according to a certain order which He Himself has set up. However that God by His almightiness of His will can effectuate something momentarily, He has already provided many proofs of.
12
There were again made counter remarks, - in short thereby the faith itself became somewhat tottery with the biggest part of My disciples, that I perhaps was not more than a great prophet like Moses and Elia, where there was also no shortages of impressive signs. With those considerations and comparisons evening came and after the evening meal we again took our rest.