The Household of God
Volume 1
The early history of mankind
- Chapter 177 -
KISEHEL'S CONFESSION
When the seven had heard this from Abedam they thanked Him full of remorse and submission to His will and returned to their assigned place.
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There they were joined by their wives and children, that is, their sons who were no longer youths either but also old men of a few hundred years, and their mothers.
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Noticing that their usually cheerful fathers were sad, they asked them what might be the reason for their sadness.
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And Kisehel answered them with the following words, namely: "Children, do not ask why we are justly grieving for the first time, but look towards morning and see how gloriously Adam's grotto is shining there once more. Yet all of you know and have all expressed your immense regret when this morning on our journey here you noticed in its place a large heap of loose stones.
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"How do you feel about it now? Go within and ponder on it.
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"I tell you, there is Someone at the altar with Enoch. Commune with yourselves, yes, commune with God Jehovah Zebaoth and seek the holy Father in the love of your hearts. And thus prepared go respectfully to the altar and you shall find there - hear! - what you seek.
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"Now leave us again and follow my advice, and you will be so happy, yes, happy, happy, unspeakably happy!"
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And all the children and women, when they had heard this, returned to their former place and, struck with enormous awe, did not dare look at the shining grotto, but threw themselves on their faces and praised and glorified the great goodness, might and glory of God. And their hearts kept filling more and more with love for Jehovah.
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But Kisehel turned to his brothers and said to them: "Brothers, how do you feel?
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"Look, I am beside myself with love and it draws me mightily to the altar. Truly, if I had not fallen so deeply in my presumptuousness, no fire could keep me away. Through flames blazing to the skies I would force my way to Him, oh to Him, to Him!
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"But my guilt, my immense guilt before Him, the Most Holy, lames my feet. My soul trembles, and where I am standing the earth shakes and I am still unable to get to Him, to Him.
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"The One I now love above all I now also fear above all. I do not fear His endless might which can destroy me forever, nor do I fear His wrath that can annihilate me forever, nor His anger that can curse and kill me forever, but I fear to love Him not enough.
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"Oh, why am I not all love? Why are my bones not love? Why not all my body?
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"Yes, brothers, the fire of the heart must first penetrate all my bones and consume my whole body in love before I may approach Him; and this applies to all of you! The righteous is clean, as he does not know sin, having fled it since he was at his mother's breast. But we reveled in sin until it seemed to us to be our clear right before God.
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"Thereby sin has hardened us throughout so that we are unable to totally transform ourselves into love; yet this must happen, and that anew from the heart.
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"The flame of love in our hearts must become so intense that it consumes our sinful body and from the ashes of the consumed body there arises a new body fully adaptable to love, and only with this body can we then approach Him.
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"Yes, brothers, before that has happened I could not possibly approach Him; for of all my sins I now consider this the greatest not to love Him, the most holy and loving Father, the eternal, infinite God, enough and to approach Him with such a most imperfect love.
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"O brothers, do understand this, for you have experienced it with me what it means to approach Him unworthily.
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"Therefore, do heed these words! - Truly, eternities will not obliterate this terrible sensation from my spirit when I was standing as a sinner before God.
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O brothers, bear this in mind! Bear it in mind, you entire earth, that it is God Whom you are now carrying!
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"My weak tongue stammers, the earth shakes, the suns thunder, never completely comprehending God. It is a God, a holy Father Whom you are praising!
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"How hallowed you now are, O earth, as your almighty Creator's foot touches you.
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"How hallowed also you are, you beautiful shine of the sun! O sun, do bear in mind, together with my nothingness, Who He is Who has you shine on Him today!
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"O Father, You holy Father! You came to us unworthy sinners, not children, as we often sinfully have called ourselves.
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"Who can grasp Your infinite mercy, the magnitude of Your love?
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"Oh help me praise and glorify Him Who came to us sinners, all you my brothers, you children all, you earth, you sun and you, my whole sinful and obstinate body! Help me praise Him, all you creatures and all you angels! For He alone is good, He alone is holy and He alone is full of supreme love, might and power.
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"To Him alone all honor and praise and all our love now and forever! Amen."
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After these words he was silent and fell weeping to the ground; and all his brothers did the same.
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And Abedam said to Enoch: "Behold, no one has as yet found Me as he has. He has indeed sinned in his blindness, but when he had recognized Me he became greater than all who are present here. For he considers himself the most lowly and unworthy. Therefore, let us go to him and his brothers and raise them. In truth, Kisehel has today ignited for Me the most glorious sacrificial fire, for he has let himself be fully consumed by the fire of his love, since he wanted to become all love. And I tell you: He has become that.
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"So let us go to him and comfort him. What you will there be seeing and hearing has as yet never occurred to you. And so let us go. Amen."