The Great Gospel of John
Volume 9
Jesus' Precepts and Deeds through His Three Years of Teaching
The Lord in the region of Caesarea Philippi
- Chapter 177 -
The counter-questions of the doctor.
Completely amazed about the wisdom of Raphael, the doctor said: "Very eminent friend, you have now killed nearly all the old doubts in me, and I feel lighter, livelier and more courageous in my soul, for which I thank you from the deepest of my heart, and will also remain thankful for the rest of my whole life. But I still have to ask you one more question concerning what you have explained to me about the impossibility of a non-existence. If in your answer you can explain this to me in the same understandable manner, then all my old doubts concerning a non-existence, which is still imaginable for us shortsighted men, will be completely done away.
2
My question is: where and what were all the beings who exist now, before they existed by God's almighty will? Where and what was I before my procreation and birth? Was I already somewhere, and was I ever something? Why is there no memory left in my soul?
3
Without this memory, my reason considers every to be expected existence in the future as well as a former existence, as a non-existence, this compared to my present existence of which I am clearly conscious. For if I am no more what I was, and if every memory of a no matter what former existence will be entirely taken away from me at a future existence, then every existence is for me the same as a complete non-existence.
4
So my soul, living now in my body, could have for instance lived in a deer or in another animal - as some of our many anthropologists believe - which I cannot remember in the least. But since I, in my present condition of existence, do not possess the least of memory of such former condition of existence, no matter which one, to me such possible former existence is a complete non-existence, or in short, to say it differently: the one who I am now, never existed before, and thus I did not exist.
5
And if in a future existence I will again be something very different from what I am now, where also every memory will be taken away from me, then I will be no more the same as I am now, and thus again I will not exist. For what is the use of a chain if many thousands of links that belong together will never be put together as links that are supporting one another? As long as they are not put together, gripping into one another, no former link does exist for the link that comes after it. And when this is obviously the case, then the existence of the chain is also of no use, and so also the existence of every separate link in relation to the other link with which it has no connection.
6
Look, very eminent friend, this question contains much of what is of extreme great importance for man, who is poor in his awareness of the full life and who continues to live on this Earth, who often thinks clearly and who is thereby tormented by the fear of the always painful and near death. And I absolutely did not ask you this question with the intention to put your great wisdom to a heavy test, but only with the intention to receive clearness myself by your wisdom that can see through everything. Very eminent friend, please speak now."